If you lead people, you already know this: every meaningful change comes with a side of resistance.
This is not a sign of failure or lack of skill. It is a completely natural and predictable part of the process: Resistance to change, conscious or not, is a natural defense against the discomfort of rewiring our brains.
Yet it can be draining. It can slow momentum. And yes, it can make even the strongest leaders wonder why their team won’t simply get with the programme.
And in the middle of changes as big as AI, resistance is proportionate: lots and lots of it. It may manifest in:
Endless discussions
People saying yes but doing no
Silent quitting
Unrest in the team
I’m writing this post to enable you to fully step into your role as leader and guide your team through this change. Specifically, I’ll help you elegantly sidestep two pitfalls I’ve seen many leaders fall into when dealing with resistance:
Ignoring the resistance, carrying on and keeping your fingers crossed that people will fall into step with time.
Pushing through the resistance, hoping that your courage of conviction will help change the hearts and minds of those you want to get on board.
Both approaches are more likely to exacerbate the resistance rather than dissolve it. Reason: in both scenario’s you are not giving the reservations of your team the time of day. As a leader, you are failing to embody a fundamental leadership principle: first seek to understand, then to be understood.(Stephen Covey - 7 habits if highly effective people).
Not until you’ve demonstrated to your people that you’ve heard their objections, that you understand where they’re coming from and you recognise (some of) their concerns, will they be able to let go of their resisting behaviors and think creatively how to deal with the challenges ahead. Curious how this play out in practice? Read on…
A Practical Example
Let’s say your company is replacing the initial contact of the call center with AI. The team’s reaction as you introduce this is:
“We don’t like it! We’ll never be able to guarantee quality! We’ll lose the integrity of our brand!”
Now, if you’re anything like most people, your mind might already be getting ready to respond — formulating articulate counterarguments.
For effective leaders though, this is the moment to hold your horses. Going down that road will lead to endless discussions and no change of minds.
Instead, they use this four-step approach:
1. Ask Them to Elaborate
“It sounds like you’re really worried about quality. How so?”
“It seems like the integrity of the brand is important to you, and you see a big risk here. Can you elaborate?”
2. Summarise and Validate
“So you’re worried that the AI won’t be as good as a human in answering these questions. I get that — it’s a valid concern.”
“You’re saying we’re in a really good place right now in terms of brand perception, and your own experience with AI chatbots has been negative with other brands. I can totally understand your worry here.”
3. If Applicable, Share Something of Yourself
What you share has to resonate with the experience of your team member. No counterarguments here!
“To me, it’s also really important to protect the integrity of the brand and the quality of our service. Those are two things that have made me proud to work for this company.”
4. When All Objections Are Heard, Introduce a Different Perspective
Wording is absolutely critical here. The word BUT is forbidden.
Instead, use AT THE SAME TIME.
“I get it, I really do. It is paramount we protect the integrity of our brand and the quality of our service. At the same time, AI is happening. It cannot be stopped. If we don’t embrace its advantages, before long we won’t be able to compete anymore.”
Now let a silence ensue — to give the group time to consider this perspective. Because they have been heard and understood, you’ve created the mental space for them to actually consider it.
This is usually the pivotal point of the discussion.
You’ll know a group is ready to effectively discuss a new idea — even if they don’t like it — when how questions start popping up:
“But how will we be able to control quality?”
“How will we protect the integrity of our brand?”
That’s when you can start to discuss and brainstorm how this can be done.
In closing
I’m curious how this approach will serve you in your next change conversation. Because when resistance is met with grounded curiosity and genuine understanding, it no longer drains energy — it builds trust, ownership and forward movement.
This is the kind of deep conversational leadership I train leaders in every day. If you want to grow in this area, you’re very welcome to explore my leadership programmes.